(Produced by Graham Mackie).

Robin and Bev  in  Mount Claremont  were our hosts for Meeting 1168 and a very laugh filled meeting it was. Thanks Darryl and the other larks..

Apologies registered from Maryann, Phil W, Harry & Deidre,. Peter P., and Mike B.

Minutes of 1167.       Highlights were

          *David R's 100^th Meeting,

          *Darryl R. has emailed a members list, and

          *the next OFL is at Riverbank in Caversham.  Rumour had it that Darryl and the Palmers were doing a trial run on Friday 2^nd..

Club Register Birthdates, 1^st May to 14^th May ‘08.

     3May ’46          TC 0731       Philip

     3 May ’50         TD 1516       Richard

    4 May ’53           YB 1308       Bill J

    13 May ’46          TC 0770    John B

Matters Arising

The Y Type Run to North Dandalup was well organised and attracted 17 cars of which 3 were Y Types, 1 was a YT, 5 were TC's, 2 were TD's, 1 a TF, 2 B's and a Mercedes. Plenty to do and see and those not there missed a creat day said Ron..  The Pub verandah kept the rain off and it was Kevin Wakeford's first club run. Colin D. left early and encountered buckets of rain for 15minutes on the way home but none at his home town of Jarrahdale.Another run said Ron in 6 months time

Wilkinson now has an F. Darryl suggested cancer in the club and he is frightened (he used another metaphor) to buy one after shellacking Col D. given  he claimed.

Old Fart's Lunch with Ralph K. as host is at Riverbank Winery at Caversham next Monday 12 noon.

All British Day at Gingin (18^th May) . Numbers were taken and Secretary is to liaise for our usual spot.

Last Chance Motokhana ( 25^th May) will be held at the usual Wesfarmers Carpark and approval has been obtained by Noleen.

Trophy Night. Darryl indicated that sashes would be done again by Theo but in future years by a lady that is 'in training'. Colin D. said he has 61 currently booked but likely to increase to 65 or more.. Parking to be checked by Jack G..and we will be advised next meeting. Free drinks 7.00 till 7.30pm.  Trophies to be returned at next meeting,  polished and dusted.. Darryl will prepare the presentation list in bold type..

Colin D. complained that the 100 meetings plaque appeared to be getting smaller. It was suggested that 'everything was', JB suggested a magnifying glass be provided and another that '100 doesn't go far these days'

Points  for TC CLASS are Chris B. on 62, Mike S. on 57, and Noleen on 52

Affiliates are Ron M. ON 52, dOUG s on 44 and Ivan M. On 36.

Correspondence Nil

Mike S. trip indictes they have been through Spain but are currently sharing a villa with the Herrings in the south of France. Ken R. told tale of finding in separate emails that the Sherrels and the Herrings were only 50km apart but unaware and he was able to put them in touch. Mike and Justin in a red MGB , bought for two thousand pounds.

General Business.

Rob G circularised the problem of 1250 and 1500 TF heads not lining up and catastrstrokes as Durante would say that occur if you think they do..

Bassendean Swapmeet. Rob G. sold heaps by 7am , then little till 12noon. he warned that Lucas parts were becoming scarcer each year. There was some debate about reproductions.

Lucas On the subject of Lucas,  Darryl read some Lucas ditties. ntil tears blocked his vision  Col. D was able to complete the list without dissolving but the rest of the room were in fits 

Rob G. has a TD windscreen motor for sale at $140

Next Meeting is at the Graham A , Nedlands Residence 15 May

Lucas Ditties

The Lucas motto: “Get home before dark.”

·Lucas denies having invented darkness.
But they still claim “sudden, unexpected darkness”

·Lucas - inventor of the first intermittent wiper.

·Lucas - inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.

·The three-position Lucas switch - DIM, FLICKER and OFF.
The other three switch settings - SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.

·The original anti-theft devices - Lucas Electric products.

·“I’ve had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never experienced any prob………....”

·If Lucas made guns, wars would not start either.

·Did you hear about the Lucas powered torpedo? It sank.

·It’s not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohm’s Law. They withdrew their efforts when they met too much resistance.

·Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Rover and asked the owner “How can you tell one switch from another at night, since they all look the same?” “He replied, it doesn’t matter which one you use, nothing happens!”

·Back in the ‘70s Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which didn’t suck.

·Quality Assurance phoned and advised the Engineering guy that they had trouble with his design shorting out. So he made the wires longer.

·Why do the English drink warm beer? Lucas made the refrigerators, too.

·Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone.
Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb.
Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.

·Lucas systems actually uses AC current; it just has a random frequency.

·Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: check the position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times sunwise around your car chanting: “Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant.”